Bad Cat!

What to do with a bad cat?
I have a roommate that acquired a cat right before I moved in about a month ago. I’m not sure I would have made the move under these conditions, but life takes unexpected twists which in turn requires a bit of flexibility. So anyway I live with a cat. Or should I say, we sometimes share space, large areas of space. I haven’t bonded enough to cuddle with the cat in bed or even touch it with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. While Cat seems an efficient name for this story, her real name is so rare that it’s worth mentioning. Anomaly, Anna for short.

With any being that can choose between right and wrong, a parent must teach the being through modeling and discipline. Now I don’t expect the owner of this cat to play with strings to demonstrate good play and spank the cat for climbing on the table. But boundaries must be established. Well, not being a former cat owner- shocker I know- I was not aware that a common discipline tool is a squirt bottle with water. The cat crosses a line and SQUIRT! Inconsistency in the rules and discipline (mainly due to misplacing said bottle) has not led to proper behavior, but I try my best to provide that consistency.

Well recently a pink bottle showed up in the kitchen. Previously a blue water bottle followed the cat, but as I mentioned, it could not always be located. Well, the new pink bottle gave me hope that perhaps we were taking a more intentional stand against “bad cat behavior” by having multiple squirt bottles. Tonight the cat was all over the place. Flying from one chair to another, trying to climb my pant leg and walk across the table. I counted to 10 the first time but then the pink bottle came out. BAD CAT- SQUIRT!
All cat-lovers, do not report me to PETA. I’m kind and only following after the cat owner's actions. Or so I thought. The last direct hit came after a bunch of circus acts on and off the table and my fuse went. A few sprays and the cat ran off. Job well done until I hear, “That’s cooking oil!”
WHAT!?!

Unbelievable. No wonder the cat slid all over the floor and down the banister. It was being greased. Thankfully the cat isn’t a pyro because she would have gone up in flames. But of course, I immediately thought a bubble bath would be a good idea. Why not? I’m sure that would get the point across. No cats walking on the table, climbing in the dishwasher or fridge, scratching its way up my back. Yes, a bath. It’s a great place to clear the mind and set it straight.