Depends

I have this job. Scratch that.
I have this life that reminds me a little of wearing Depends. I only just thought of this analogy though I’ve been contemplating the idea dependence for some time. Depends are essential for those who need them so save oneself from embarrassment, mess, and unexplainable loss of control. Who knew a tool that has worked with you your whole life, disappears without even leaving a note. Now, I don’t have personal experience with these “undergarments” but my grandmother wore them and I’ve heard many stories from folks discussing the utter, well, disappointment in needing them. They’re unwanted but most necessary.

Life feels like that sometimes. When I went to the jungle I discovered all the many ways people have learned to fend for themselves in the woods, hunting, finding medicine, and simply surviving. What a lovely life without the dependence on a cell phone, committee meetings or near-by gas stations. Just earth and me. But life is more like Depends because responsibilities and opportunities are lived out solo. They require transactions, give and take, and dependence.

Sometimes I like this feeling and situation. I love knowing that my Dad will always buy popcorn when we go to the movies and I don’t have to fork over the $10 for a bag. I am thankful I can depend on my local grocery store for stocking the shelves and keeping the fruit fresh.

Yet, dependence comes with a price. Humility. At times I have to graciously consent to help. More oft than that I have to ask for assistance. But mostly, I live in a world where I can’t do my job without other people playing their part. I can’t make music without an entire band. I can’t win a meet or even hold a meet without any teammates. I can’t get a hug from the air. That just irks me. I’m a person who is pretty self-reliant. I don’t want for much (come see my empty dwelling) and I’m fairly confident in my skills. But at the end of the day, all that I want and need to do requires other people. Like Depends, they can be there or not, but I’m much worse off if they remain absent. In this struggle, I can find myself seeking ways to be more NON-dependent and content with such solitude. Yet, as I lay my head down to sleep, I’m reminded many of the joys in my day came from others in a direct way.

So what do I do about this required dependence? Do I rattle my dentures at them, complaining and wishing for the glory days…how were they different? Do I embrace the dependence as a way to connect with other people? Do I live humbly? Do I give thanks that I don’t have to and CAN’T make it independently?