Small children have an incredible way of helping me see a common object in a totally different way. If they had a more extensive vocabulary, children would be great rocket scientists because they would grab wires and instinctively put them together or in their mouth or around another object that could be the answer to the puzzled yet unsolved. “Oh, if only I had thought about how water could be used as a conductor!” says the old rocket scientist and the little one would move on, curious to see what else is available to sort out.
Today I visited some friends with a little girl just about 2 years old. She is very inquisitive about the world around her but doesn’t quite have the words yet to put her thoughts into understandable communication. This is mainly due to the fact that she only recently moved to the USA from Africa and her parents speak over 5 languages. When I come over, I jumble the learning process and throw her complete curve balls. I taught her zipper, fish and shoe today. Random I know. But she does have a few words down. Sit. Go. Come. Thank you. Bye. That’s a good set.
So dinnertime came when her dad made some chicken legs. Cool. She grabbed it by the small end and attempted to eat it like an ice cream cone. Licking didn’t get her far but the skin was too tough to pierce so she just kept gnawing at it. She finally got bits of meat off the bone and we proudly applauded her efforts. This would be a great way to diet- lick everything to death and/or start from a weird end until you get to the good stuff.
I ate lunch with another friend and her 22 month old. Cantaloupe appeared on my plate and eyes of intense curiosity pierced mine. She received a bit of the melon, rind and all. Well, as makes sense and comes from past experience, she started at one end, wanting to chomp down rind and all. “That’ll give you the runs,” says mom. So we tried to show her the way to eat the melon off the rind but she wouldn’t have it. Too messy, big people don’t get things all over their face, waste of fruit, apples aren’t eaten that way must have flown through her mind. Mom finally cut the fruit free. The little one tasted the sweet satisfaction of cantaloupe and looked for more.
I appreciate the way my struggles with life can be put into perspective after spending time with little ones. Everything is new to them and yet most time they embrace it with gusto and courage. If I told either of these girls what it would be like to go to Kindergarten or have braces, endure puberty or kiss a boy, they wouldn’t grasp it. And even if they had the vocabulary and certain understanding of the concepts, they wouldn’t be able to handle the complexity of the journey. God does that with us too. He gives us chicken legs to gnaw on, find the meat, enjoy and learn how to eat for next time. He excites us about new things a little at a time, encouraging us along the way so we want more. If God told me where I will be in 6 or 26 years from now, I probably would overwhelm myself with trying to get to the finish line if I could comprehend such possibilities at all. Crystal balls seem enticing but are more like huge electricity balls found in science class. They shock you for no good reason and without ways to cope with the shock.
I’ll take my chicken leg and cantaloupe one meal at a time. I just hope God helps me maintain a child-like attitude to difficult and new things.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
a little dusty
Woke up on time but straggled a little bit too much so people were waiting on me.
Ate healthy and moderately until my stomach brain took over when my self-control decided to take the day off.
Prepared all my homework and even did some individual investigation (probably shouldn’t be a new thing) but found myself flustered and still a novice at the subject matter.
Moved forward with a job on the to do list without doing complete research which caused awkwardness and misrepresentation.
Worked from a comfortable, frozen position while others struggled to hear instruction from a distance.
Communicated all the logistics with workers but forgot one key element and therefore created some unneeded stress in what should have been a moment of relaxing, deep breathes.
No other words could better personify the realities that I am human, fallible, and need dusting off. I felt ready for this Wednesday since yesterday had been so productive and thorough to the point of boredom. But still, I showed up this Wednesday just a little unprepared. No major calamities came from it. No deaths, injuries or heartaches were caused. I simply had a B average day despite great intentions.
How I long to be perfect! I’m certainly not a perfectionist as one can see by my hairdos. But I long to give 100% in every aspect of life without fail. Yes, I get an occasional A- or B on a test. But it’s not until other people see those Bs or lay victim to my not-quite-perfect actions that I’m utterly disappointed. If I can’t give the best, what’s the point of trying?
Today marks the day in the church calendar, the beginning of Lent, when we can remember we’re merely humans. We were formed from the dust. Jesus died on the cross because we are just humans needing help connecting with God, but as God said back in Eden, we’re “very good” and worth having around. It’s also the time when we can really reflect and prepare ourselves to be Resurrection people. Such people live a new, whole, abundant life. In both ways, being human and becoming Resurrection people requires God. He put the breath of life in us from the beginning and no newness or abundant life would come without Jesus dying for us.
Today provides a tangible reminder that I am from dust, merely human, and only the cross can set me free. So I humbly offer this day and myself to a little dusting, hoping in the end to shine like perfect gold, but knowing it won’t come of my individual effort.
Ate healthy and moderately until my stomach brain took over when my self-control decided to take the day off.
Prepared all my homework and even did some individual investigation (probably shouldn’t be a new thing) but found myself flustered and still a novice at the subject matter.
Moved forward with a job on the to do list without doing complete research which caused awkwardness and misrepresentation.
Worked from a comfortable, frozen position while others struggled to hear instruction from a distance.
Communicated all the logistics with workers but forgot one key element and therefore created some unneeded stress in what should have been a moment of relaxing, deep breathes.
No other words could better personify the realities that I am human, fallible, and need dusting off. I felt ready for this Wednesday since yesterday had been so productive and thorough to the point of boredom. But still, I showed up this Wednesday just a little unprepared. No major calamities came from it. No deaths, injuries or heartaches were caused. I simply had a B average day despite great intentions.
How I long to be perfect! I’m certainly not a perfectionist as one can see by my hairdos. But I long to give 100% in every aspect of life without fail. Yes, I get an occasional A- or B on a test. But it’s not until other people see those Bs or lay victim to my not-quite-perfect actions that I’m utterly disappointed. If I can’t give the best, what’s the point of trying?
Today marks the day in the church calendar, the beginning of Lent, when we can remember we’re merely humans. We were formed from the dust. Jesus died on the cross because we are just humans needing help connecting with God, but as God said back in Eden, we’re “very good” and worth having around. It’s also the time when we can really reflect and prepare ourselves to be Resurrection people. Such people live a new, whole, abundant life. In both ways, being human and becoming Resurrection people requires God. He put the breath of life in us from the beginning and no newness or abundant life would come without Jesus dying for us.
Today provides a tangible reminder that I am from dust, merely human, and only the cross can set me free. So I humbly offer this day and myself to a little dusting, hoping in the end to shine like perfect gold, but knowing it won’t come of my individual effort.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
beyond human freedom
A new reality about freedom has entered my mind and heart. I should say realization because the freedom or lack there of has existed always, but I finally connected the truth to the full (or close to full) appreciation of the word Freedom.
Often times this word brings forth images of slavery or Nelson Mandela or women covered from head to foot in a long black burqa. Sometimes I think about how the founding fathers fought with brains and brawns to provide a land of freedoms never before enjoyed by a people. Very rarely do I think of the freedoms of my body, mind or spirit being in question. It’s mine and no one has control over it, save for God.
So when I think of such personal, unique and intimate aspects of me being under lock and key, I scratch my head and ponder. What does that really mean? What does it mean to be trapped in a body that can’t move, grow or even exist as it once did? A body that is chained by disease, paralysis, or injury probably longs for wholeness, the freedom beyond the traps of physical obstacles of pain, lack of energy or simple movements. As I think back to my injuries incurred as an athlete, the loss of a complete, working structure affected all the rest of me: mind, spirit, and attitude. Part of the reason I remained active in theater was due to the fact that I thought a person with broken legs or a missing arm could still read lines, be funny and convey a story.
Those who can’t find freedom from haunting psychological ailments have my greatest respect. To lose the ability to communicate truthfully to yourself much less the rest of the world would leave me even more helpless if not hopeless.
And I do not envy those racked with the constant pressure of not knowing a deeper purpose and connection for one’s spirit. Sometimes I feel that disconnect, trapped in my own unworthiness, self-doubt, or even ostentatious pride. I cut off all ability to live freely as I was created to be.
Tonight, however, my ponderings went beyond my mere mortality to the reality that God in Jesus gave up his freedom for us. And not only in all that he sacrificed becoming human ie) being everywhere, knowing everything, being timeless, not having to deal with the senses to feel pain, joy, sorrow, hunger, and exhaustion. That was part of the freedom he lost coming from heaven, but he also lost the freedom to live burden-free. I believe God bears our burdens in a way, that is to say he can manifest in us and the creation the ability to bear those burdens and have strength through faith and trust in him. But when Jesus came, he took the burden literally. He lost his freedom to live in order to die so we could be free without anymore sacrifice. Of course, this freedom has eternal value, but Jesus had to live with that bound commitment everyday. Jesus didn’t have a choice once on earth. We do have that choice. To live everyday with the freedom he gave us because he’s taken away the obstacles. Body, mind and spirit are free regardless of our frail and fractured humanity.
Loss of freedom in our humanness is not to be discounted or neglected. These daily realities must be dealt with constantly and might never go away. I guess I’m encouraged and convicted tonight that such losses of freedom were fully experienced by God who loves us, cares for us, and does life with us. He’s not ignorant or simply a sympathizer. He knows completely and still calls us to live out of the freedom he gave no matter our physical, mental or spiritual status.
Philippians 2:1-11
Often times this word brings forth images of slavery or Nelson Mandela or women covered from head to foot in a long black burqa. Sometimes I think about how the founding fathers fought with brains and brawns to provide a land of freedoms never before enjoyed by a people. Very rarely do I think of the freedoms of my body, mind or spirit being in question. It’s mine and no one has control over it, save for God.
So when I think of such personal, unique and intimate aspects of me being under lock and key, I scratch my head and ponder. What does that really mean? What does it mean to be trapped in a body that can’t move, grow or even exist as it once did? A body that is chained by disease, paralysis, or injury probably longs for wholeness, the freedom beyond the traps of physical obstacles of pain, lack of energy or simple movements. As I think back to my injuries incurred as an athlete, the loss of a complete, working structure affected all the rest of me: mind, spirit, and attitude. Part of the reason I remained active in theater was due to the fact that I thought a person with broken legs or a missing arm could still read lines, be funny and convey a story.
Those who can’t find freedom from haunting psychological ailments have my greatest respect. To lose the ability to communicate truthfully to yourself much less the rest of the world would leave me even more helpless if not hopeless.
And I do not envy those racked with the constant pressure of not knowing a deeper purpose and connection for one’s spirit. Sometimes I feel that disconnect, trapped in my own unworthiness, self-doubt, or even ostentatious pride. I cut off all ability to live freely as I was created to be.
Tonight, however, my ponderings went beyond my mere mortality to the reality that God in Jesus gave up his freedom for us. And not only in all that he sacrificed becoming human ie) being everywhere, knowing everything, being timeless, not having to deal with the senses to feel pain, joy, sorrow, hunger, and exhaustion. That was part of the freedom he lost coming from heaven, but he also lost the freedom to live burden-free. I believe God bears our burdens in a way, that is to say he can manifest in us and the creation the ability to bear those burdens and have strength through faith and trust in him. But when Jesus came, he took the burden literally. He lost his freedom to live in order to die so we could be free without anymore sacrifice. Of course, this freedom has eternal value, but Jesus had to live with that bound commitment everyday. Jesus didn’t have a choice once on earth. We do have that choice. To live everyday with the freedom he gave us because he’s taken away the obstacles. Body, mind and spirit are free regardless of our frail and fractured humanity.
Loss of freedom in our humanness is not to be discounted or neglected. These daily realities must be dealt with constantly and might never go away. I guess I’m encouraged and convicted tonight that such losses of freedom were fully experienced by God who loves us, cares for us, and does life with us. He’s not ignorant or simply a sympathizer. He knows completely and still calls us to live out of the freedom he gave no matter our physical, mental or spiritual status.
Philippians 2:1-11
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