a little dusty

Woke up on time but straggled a little bit too much so people were waiting on me.

Ate healthy and moderately until my stomach brain took over when my self-control decided to take the day off.

Prepared all my homework and even did some individual investigation (probably shouldn’t be a new thing) but found myself flustered and still a novice at the subject matter.

Moved forward with a job on the to do list without doing complete research which caused awkwardness and misrepresentation.

Worked from a comfortable, frozen position while others struggled to hear instruction from a distance.

Communicated all the logistics with workers but forgot one key element and therefore created some unneeded stress in what should have been a moment of relaxing, deep breathes.

No other words could better personify the realities that I am human, fallible, and need dusting off. I felt ready for this Wednesday since yesterday had been so productive and thorough to the point of boredom. But still, I showed up this Wednesday just a little unprepared. No major calamities came from it. No deaths, injuries or heartaches were caused. I simply had a B average day despite great intentions.

How I long to be perfect! I’m certainly not a perfectionist as one can see by my hairdos. But I long to give 100% in every aspect of life without fail. Yes, I get an occasional A- or B on a test. But it’s not until other people see those Bs or lay victim to my not-quite-perfect actions that I’m utterly disappointed. If I can’t give the best, what’s the point of trying?

Today marks the day in the church calendar, the beginning of Lent, when we can remember we’re merely humans. We were formed from the dust. Jesus died on the cross because we are just humans needing help connecting with God, but as God said back in Eden, we’re “very good” and worth having around. It’s also the time when we can really reflect and prepare ourselves to be Resurrection people. Such people live a new, whole, abundant life. In both ways, being human and becoming Resurrection people requires God. He put the breath of life in us from the beginning and no newness or abundant life would come without Jesus dying for us.

Today provides a tangible reminder that I am from dust, merely human, and only the cross can set me free. So I humbly offer this day and myself to a little dusting, hoping in the end to shine like perfect gold, but knowing it won’t come of my individual effort.