I’m so excited tonight. It’s been an incredible week of productivity, great conversations, and lots to hope for. I think hope is the biggest thing because only with hope can I see plans for various projects come to fruition. I’m working with my favorite partner to team up with friends in Africa to change lives. Yeah, it’s awesome to be a part of such a grand goal. All the while, the efforts ahead of use are extreme and way beyond what I know or think I can do. So all I can do is hope. Hope that I get out of my own way so great things can happen. Hope that I listen carefully to how God is and will instruct us in the coming minutes, days and months. Hope for more people to be filled with the joy and peace that comes from such hope.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
The song Everlasting God says:
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
Waiting can have two meanings:
1) Stand by, remain, anticipate, and expect what God wants to do and how he will use us.
2) Serve like a waiter at a restaurant. Go and do what has been instructed.
Both are super important because without hanging around for and with God, we can’t possibly get the right or full instructions. Meanwhile, there are times when we know what needs to be done, how to do it or where to find the resources to make it happen. That forward movement might take us to the threshold when what we’ve anticipated is finally revealed.
Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired; they will walk and not become weary. ~Isaiah 40:31
Hope and waiting are quite similar. They both have a bit of anticipation and expectation wrapped up in them. They also require a trust in something yet unknown. Even in serving, we are trusting that the efforts are worthwhile and help attain the goal.
Being this excited right now is a good place to be. And I’m grateful that the excitement is built on the foundation of hope and waiting. That foundation will come in handy in those less productive and frustrating weeks. Though the days ebb and flow, the hope remains.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
the list
The other day I made a list. It noted all the projects with which I’m currently working. Between school, work, track and an attempt to have a life beyond those confines, the number of items continued to grow. The first goal of the list was to help me wrap my head around what things I really was doing. Then I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget anything and then realize where I could put more energy and focus at this moment. It seemed that once I started going on a project I would have to stop and start another one. My ideas and enthusiasm for one had to be tabled while the same for a different item had to be conjured from what I could remember of that project’s progress.
At the point of creation, I didn’t give my list much power. It was just a tool to organize my otherwise scattered thoughts. But as I continued on with it, I realized the list was too long and doubt, frustration, pity and wonder set in. Pity is too strong of a word but I did feel a bit of sadness at what those many list items meant especially in relationship to all the things I had to sacrifice. For the most part, the things on the list were all good. They all had merit and a worthwhile purpose. So while I might have had a bit of self-pity, I was also kind of impressed that so many cool things were given to me to do. Self-pity, self-righteousness. Weird combo.
I left my office with this list in hand and walked across campus where numerous trees are budding with magnificent colors, tall pines trees continue to reach to the heavens, grass is turning green and students walk with determination, pursuing knowledge and growth. And that was a small 100 yard view. At that moment I realized my list was nothing. It didn’t even fill half a page. In comparison to God’s “to do” list, mine was simple. The story of Job came to my head, and I recalled the end of the story when God questioned Job. Are you in charge of the movement of the stars and planets? Do you make the waves crash on the shore? Does the tree, grass, or human grow by your power? Have you carved the mountains and cut out the valleys? And like Job, all I could say is…um, well, no.
The list was necessary. It cleared my mind of clutter and helped me organize my responsibilities. Just because I’m not in charge of maintaining gravity or creating systems like photosynthesis, God still has me here to do his work, faithfully and humbly. The list was clarifying. It reminded me of who really is in charge and who makes all things possible, including giving me wisdom and strength to complete and cross off items on the list.
At the point of creation, I didn’t give my list much power. It was just a tool to organize my otherwise scattered thoughts. But as I continued on with it, I realized the list was too long and doubt, frustration, pity and wonder set in. Pity is too strong of a word but I did feel a bit of sadness at what those many list items meant especially in relationship to all the things I had to sacrifice. For the most part, the things on the list were all good. They all had merit and a worthwhile purpose. So while I might have had a bit of self-pity, I was also kind of impressed that so many cool things were given to me to do. Self-pity, self-righteousness. Weird combo.
I left my office with this list in hand and walked across campus where numerous trees are budding with magnificent colors, tall pines trees continue to reach to the heavens, grass is turning green and students walk with determination, pursuing knowledge and growth. And that was a small 100 yard view. At that moment I realized my list was nothing. It didn’t even fill half a page. In comparison to God’s “to do” list, mine was simple. The story of Job came to my head, and I recalled the end of the story when God questioned Job. Are you in charge of the movement of the stars and planets? Do you make the waves crash on the shore? Does the tree, grass, or human grow by your power? Have you carved the mountains and cut out the valleys? And like Job, all I could say is…um, well, no.
The list was necessary. It cleared my mind of clutter and helped me organize my responsibilities. Just because I’m not in charge of maintaining gravity or creating systems like photosynthesis, God still has me here to do his work, faithfully and humbly. The list was clarifying. It reminded me of who really is in charge and who makes all things possible, including giving me wisdom and strength to complete and cross off items on the list.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
faith in...
Rob Bell is an insightful guy. A pastor, author, and believer in Jesus, he grapples with the simple things of being a Christian. Or not so simple. Like following Christ. Today I reread the part in Velvet Elvis where he explains what it means to be a disciple. A disciple was a person who not just followed the path, but tried to walk in the exact footsteps of the rabbi. What Jesus did the disciples wanted to mimic, exactly. Bell points out that when Peter left the boat to walk on water, he did so because Jesus was walking on water. But unlike Jesus, Peter started sinking. Why? It wasn’t what Jesus was doing. It wasn’t because Peter lost faith in the fact that Jesus was walking on water. Bell asserts that Peter sank due to lack of faith in himself.
Is it too impossible to imagine that God has confidence in us? Yeah, he gives us cool talents and gifts of speech, wisdom, and interpersonal skills. We often show them off. And then we also show off our stupid, less refined and less thoughtful side, which often causes trouble. But God knows that about us. And he still loves us and gives each of us a legitimate purpose. He believes in each of us.
When Jesus came to earth he did not try to “Avatar” the planet, making everyone into him. He instead dwelt, moseyed, slept, wept, did life with us. As a rabbi he saw our potential and gave us tools, methods, encouragement to live out that potential. Jewish rabbis looked for the best of the best because to know the Jewish scriptures inside and out, that’s what it took. For Jesus, however, he enlisted the good and the bad in order that they might become the best, just as Jesus was.
In many ways today, God reminded me that he has hope in each of his children. If he has hope, then we had better not give up. Struggles, obstacles, disappointments and inaccurate messages bombard us with doubt. Jesus wants us to have faith, both in his plan AND in ourselves.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Tim. 1: 7
Is it too impossible to imagine that God has confidence in us? Yeah, he gives us cool talents and gifts of speech, wisdom, and interpersonal skills. We often show them off. And then we also show off our stupid, less refined and less thoughtful side, which often causes trouble. But God knows that about us. And he still loves us and gives each of us a legitimate purpose. He believes in each of us.
When Jesus came to earth he did not try to “Avatar” the planet, making everyone into him. He instead dwelt, moseyed, slept, wept, did life with us. As a rabbi he saw our potential and gave us tools, methods, encouragement to live out that potential. Jewish rabbis looked for the best of the best because to know the Jewish scriptures inside and out, that’s what it took. For Jesus, however, he enlisted the good and the bad in order that they might become the best, just as Jesus was.
In many ways today, God reminded me that he has hope in each of his children. If he has hope, then we had better not give up. Struggles, obstacles, disappointments and inaccurate messages bombard us with doubt. Jesus wants us to have faith, both in his plan AND in ourselves.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Tim. 1: 7
Saturday, April 3, 2010
take a whiff
I picked a shirt out of my drawer and smelled the armpits. This is not a normal routine, but this shirt seems to hold my unique fragrance longer than most shirts. Perhaps it’s because I only wear it to work out and that I’ve had it for seven years. All, the same, I smelled it and thought, it’s not that bad.
Really Sarah? There shouldn’t be anything TO SMELL! (Yes, you’re right, voice in my head.)
Later on I visited a friend whose sole purpose for the day was to veg out. A big accomplishment would be showering. “My hair reeks,” she warned. I took her word for it, but the honesty made me laugh. I offered my shirt to smell to make her feel better.
Maybe stinky feathers flock together.
Ironically enough, I had just read in my Bible from 2 Corinthians that God wants us to be the aroma of Jesus. “A sweet fragrance to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere.” Paul writes that some will perceive the fragrance as beautiful and life-giving for they are people who are saved and know the goodness “Christ Cologne.” Others will perceive the fragrance as smelly armpits and rotten eggs, all death and decay.
So, Hmm… What do I smell like? I mean figuratively, I’ve already confessed to a “unique” clinging body odor. I mean does my life give off the odor of Christ? Are others drawn to him, his sweetness, his life-giving grace and truth? Or are people turned off, more willing to decay because of how I make Jesus smell? Worse yet, do people smell anything? For if I don’t give off a fragrance, indifference and stagnation may have taken over my life and others’ lives in my world. Of course, God can work even with stinky ones like me. I’m grateful Christ can live in me and be fruitful even despite me, but I certainly shouldn’t make his job harder. And as a believer and one who desires to be a sweet smell, I need to help others smell the goodness and know God better and better.
I pray that regardless of how laundered my clothes are and clean my hair, I can live in such a way to boast the “Christ Cologne.”
P.S. This entry and a bit of garlic might confirm a perpetual singleness. May God be glorified either way: smelly and single or smelly and situated.
Really Sarah? There shouldn’t be anything TO SMELL! (Yes, you’re right, voice in my head.)
Later on I visited a friend whose sole purpose for the day was to veg out. A big accomplishment would be showering. “My hair reeks,” she warned. I took her word for it, but the honesty made me laugh. I offered my shirt to smell to make her feel better.
Maybe stinky feathers flock together.
Ironically enough, I had just read in my Bible from 2 Corinthians that God wants us to be the aroma of Jesus. “A sweet fragrance to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere.” Paul writes that some will perceive the fragrance as beautiful and life-giving for they are people who are saved and know the goodness “Christ Cologne.” Others will perceive the fragrance as smelly armpits and rotten eggs, all death and decay.
So, Hmm… What do I smell like? I mean figuratively, I’ve already confessed to a “unique” clinging body odor. I mean does my life give off the odor of Christ? Are others drawn to him, his sweetness, his life-giving grace and truth? Or are people turned off, more willing to decay because of how I make Jesus smell? Worse yet, do people smell anything? For if I don’t give off a fragrance, indifference and stagnation may have taken over my life and others’ lives in my world. Of course, God can work even with stinky ones like me. I’m grateful Christ can live in me and be fruitful even despite me, but I certainly shouldn’t make his job harder. And as a believer and one who desires to be a sweet smell, I need to help others smell the goodness and know God better and better.
I pray that regardless of how laundered my clothes are and clean my hair, I can live in such a way to boast the “Christ Cologne.”
P.S. This entry and a bit of garlic might confirm a perpetual singleness. May God be glorified either way: smelly and single or smelly and situated.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Holy Eve
The thought occurred to me last night as I sang “Going Home” by Sara Groves, that I love Holy Eve. I give the days before Easter this name because Easter Eve would almost limit me to Saturday night and create a tongue twister all in the same phrase. But Holy Eve(s) of Maundy Thursday and Good Friday remind so much of Christmas Eve. They are days of great anticipation, tremendous mystery and intentional days of reflection.
I’m grateful to have been raised and still attend a church that remembers these specific moments in Jesus’ last days of life. Both Maundy Thursday and Good Friday hold great significance to making the resurrection on Easter as powerful, meaningful and life giving today as it is. Maundy Thursday commemorates the last supper Jesus had with his 12 disciples. As the Gospels tell us, this is the evening when Jesus demonstrated who we should be by taking on the role of the servant and washing feet. He reassured them that they could and should remember him by eating bread and drinking wine. He told them why it was important to give his life for his “friends,” the ultimate gift. And he prayed for them. And he prayed for us. I know Jesus is God, which gives him the powers of all knowing and all-powerful, but to think he spoke words to God on MY behalf is beyond insightful to impactful. Jesus wanted me to be alive with him just as much as he wanted the men whose feet he just washed to be alive. To be a life and light for the world to know Jesus.
But I can just imagine the guys, listening to every word, wondering how many future generations he needed to pray for since they believed him to be the Messiah who would take them out of the chaotic world in which they lived. Likewise, those guys didn’t have hindsight to look back and understand all that Jesus said. So the meal ended and the puzzled look and anxious feeling remained. Anticipation always looms for me because I know what’s coming- EASTER! And I know what that means but I have to live through Thursday and then the Friday of suffering and death.
Christmas Eve at my churches often tells the Christmas story but not quite being the big day, an ambiance of waiting fills the room. We still have to grapple with the mystery of a virgin birth, a king born in a manger, a shepherd guest list, a host of heavenly angles singing all over the country side, and a silent night when a baby sleeps. Good Friday has a similar feel because we see Jesus carrying a cross, enduring the whips and crown of thorns, being mocked, gasping from the nails pounded in his wrists, bearing the weight of his body on the cross while bearing the sins, burdens, prayers and hopes of the world on his body. As human he experienced it all. As God he experienced it all.
Christmas and Easter are glorious and right days of celebration. Christ is Born! Christ is Risen! And yet the Eves give me a chance to realize the true immensity of the following celebration days. Without them, I’m easily led into boundless, energized joy, forgetting the way and reason the party even exists.
The song we sang tonight at the Good Friday service said, “Stay with me. Remain here with me. Watch and pray.” Jesus speaks these words, especially on these Holy Eves. One day they might be my prayer, but for now I will wait, watch and pray for Jesus and all he died for.
I’m grateful to have been raised and still attend a church that remembers these specific moments in Jesus’ last days of life. Both Maundy Thursday and Good Friday hold great significance to making the resurrection on Easter as powerful, meaningful and life giving today as it is. Maundy Thursday commemorates the last supper Jesus had with his 12 disciples. As the Gospels tell us, this is the evening when Jesus demonstrated who we should be by taking on the role of the servant and washing feet. He reassured them that they could and should remember him by eating bread and drinking wine. He told them why it was important to give his life for his “friends,” the ultimate gift. And he prayed for them. And he prayed for us. I know Jesus is God, which gives him the powers of all knowing and all-powerful, but to think he spoke words to God on MY behalf is beyond insightful to impactful. Jesus wanted me to be alive with him just as much as he wanted the men whose feet he just washed to be alive. To be a life and light for the world to know Jesus.
But I can just imagine the guys, listening to every word, wondering how many future generations he needed to pray for since they believed him to be the Messiah who would take them out of the chaotic world in which they lived. Likewise, those guys didn’t have hindsight to look back and understand all that Jesus said. So the meal ended and the puzzled look and anxious feeling remained. Anticipation always looms for me because I know what’s coming- EASTER! And I know what that means but I have to live through Thursday and then the Friday of suffering and death.
Christmas Eve at my churches often tells the Christmas story but not quite being the big day, an ambiance of waiting fills the room. We still have to grapple with the mystery of a virgin birth, a king born in a manger, a shepherd guest list, a host of heavenly angles singing all over the country side, and a silent night when a baby sleeps. Good Friday has a similar feel because we see Jesus carrying a cross, enduring the whips and crown of thorns, being mocked, gasping from the nails pounded in his wrists, bearing the weight of his body on the cross while bearing the sins, burdens, prayers and hopes of the world on his body. As human he experienced it all. As God he experienced it all.
Christmas and Easter are glorious and right days of celebration. Christ is Born! Christ is Risen! And yet the Eves give me a chance to realize the true immensity of the following celebration days. Without them, I’m easily led into boundless, energized joy, forgetting the way and reason the party even exists.
The song we sang tonight at the Good Friday service said, “Stay with me. Remain here with me. Watch and pray.” Jesus speaks these words, especially on these Holy Eves. One day they might be my prayer, but for now I will wait, watch and pray for Jesus and all he died for.
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