semi day off

Today was my semi day off. Semi because I still had school, a meeting and homework, day off because I went to the mountains to read, write, pray and think. Somehow the “semi” parts seem to take over my schedule but this afternoon I kept them at bay.

I started listening to a book on tape of one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott. I haven’t read her work lately, but hearing her voice again as I drove took me back to my afternoons spent in Border’s when I had one precious day to rest when I toured with the choir. Anne has a humor and honesty that helps me see my own life in a similar light and realize, I can love myself despite my flyaway hair, manic desire to accomplish and inconsistent forgetfulness. She talks about her big thighs as her aunties, always there, giving her a little flare and reassurance that she beautiful because of them.

So today in the off part, I sat by the river on the mountain, reflecting on the past 10 days. They have truly been some of the craziest, most intense, jam-packed I’ve felt in a long time. Holy Week was a breeze in comparison. And yet, each item brought me joy (minus the lack of sleep) and I got to spend most of those moments with people I truly cherish. Yet, as I reflected, I teared up out of joy and loss and wishing. Wishing to be better, live even more fully; give of myself out of authentic love. On top of that, when I stood up I brushed off my shorts only o get stuck near that really boney part my dad always complained about when I sat on his lap as a kid. At first, I pegged gum as the culprit, resolving to find some ice and mend the situation. But after feeling it with my hand, I realized not only was my hand eternally sticky but the stick had reached skin on the other side of pants, etc. It was time for a run.

Runs are therapeutic for me and today was no different. The highlight of the day: touching my nose to my knee as I stretched. My flexibility has gone to pot lately, but as I bent over, I pleasantly surprised myself, pain free. As I began to leave I remembered my plans for the evening- I was meant to meet people right after I ran. I had planned to wear the now sapped shorts and I was still laden with perspiration. So here I was, go sweaty or sticky. Or both. I decided to listen to the Anne inside my head and say, go as you are. So I put on a clean black shirt that is another shade from my black shorts, shake out my sweaty hair and go. I knew my friend wouldn’t care. She wears hunter green and Kelly green together and says they match. “They’re green.” And so they are; how perfect.