grapes over raisins

Sometimes what we think we need we actually need to give. When I have found myself wanting a little comforting or encouragement, my emotions and spirit shrivel up. If I were to see my face in the mirror, I’m sure shrunken features would stare at me, a nose sucked in and lips pursed like when tasting a really sour lemon. Self-pity and unjust blame for what others simply don’t acknowledge, ME, take over, and I bury myself in this huge pit. One of the boys began to sulk away from the soccer field after one boy kicked all the balls away. The uncle taught him that such an attitude of sadness because he let others ruin his day was a silly way to live life. He trusted his uncle this time and had a game of his life, running the length and width of the field with a huge smile on his face.

Desires and needs for attention and love are deserving at points, but they do not always come when we beckon. In fact, we’re often faced with an opposite situation when a sister needs advice and care before offering her own, a friend needs a massage before your back receives, a colleague needs a break before you, a dog needs to learn love languages before fawning over a master. In bearing these gifts/burdens, we come to realize one of two things: 1) A release in our own needs. The requirement no longer exists to sooth the soul; the need melted away. or 2) A clearer understanding of what we really need. Clarity and understanding in context of all circumstances and emotions will guide us to seek the proper balm.

I am taken back to my parents new dog. I’m receiving daily updates, but more than that, I’m seeing from afar the real hole she’s filling. Is the family missing a running dog? A dog that chases squirrels? A tap-dancing dog on the wood floor? Yes and no. As much as the family wants all of this and more, they need the dog to give out love. As much as they wanted to fill one hole that seemed so apparent in the old dog's absence, they are filling it by first taking care of the hole that Ruby currently endures.

No one has shrunken up into a raisin from self-obsession, but how whole and juicy is the spirit from other-obsession!