a hat must remain

I teach. I parent. But most kids don't live with both at the same time. And the same is true for the teachers; they go home to different responsibilities. In the midst of this odd circumstance, I thought about the advice and instruction I've neglected to give due to not completely understanding the system to which they will return, not being with them from day one to establish rules and routines, and not having the role of Headmistress. WAKE UP! Today is today regardless of yesterday's events. To change something, I first have to change myself. I’ve been selfish with my time, so let me change. I’ve been careless and sloppy in teaching and parenting, so let me change. I've given too many excuses, so let me change.

Tonight, it struck me that I cannot abandon these roles as teacher and parent. I should always have one of the hats on in order for the children to grow. Don't get me wrong, I like hats. I can work hats. But all the time? Talk about hat hair.

I couldn’t help thinking about God in this role of parent/teacher/guide. I think of all the times he stood by my to answer a question, taught me a lesson while I was confused or hurt, showed me ways to do life better. I think even now in this reflection he has taught me something. I also wonder what life would be without God filling those roles forever. Or what if he slacked off like me? I would go about my daily business but with little concern for anybody or anything else as I mimic him. I would find ways to fill the time I should use to study by drawing, watching TV, disengaging from the world and self-absorbing. I would run around like a wild woman and then wonder when test time came around why I did so poorly and struggled so much. Even if I found self-discipline from somewhere, would I know how to use it efficiently and effectively? Or would I not know what I don’t know?
And what if he reacted out of frustration and annoyance as I sometimes do? I’m sure I would have been smote by now/ I would be in the best shape of my life for all the push-ups I would have to do. Thankfully, God is patient and kind and SLOW to anger.
Sometimes it feels like he’s out to lunch, going to the bathroom (especially when it’s gloomy and raining ☺), making tea to suit his needs, wandering in another room. Perhaps those seemingly cruel breaks of “abandonment” are actually just the guidance and teaching I need at the time. A moment to figure it out, look back on our notes, and ask neighbors for help before seeking to be spoon-fed by the professor.

The reality is that God is not like me; I have the challenge to strive for perfection. But just as I’m not struck down for neglecting my duties as a teacher and parent, God has grace when I fall short of the perfection he models. I become the student and hope that a bit of gentleness and clear answers come from The Teacher. I know he has my best interest in mind; he’s rooting for a 100%. So I will focus a bit more carefully in class. I will likewise do my best to incorporate some of his teaching/parenting methods to invest in the growth of the kids, academically, emotionally, and spiritually. While the hats might fly off at times, I will certainly wear them intentionally with pride, gratitude, and focus. I realize the opportunities ahead, so let me change for them.