Goats

Friday, July 31
This afternoon I encountered a lone goat on my way home from school. He was contentedly eating away at the empty lot of grass, with not a care in the world. Suddenly, he looked up to find himself there alone. Imagine a double-taking goat. He looked right, then left, then turned a circle. He baa-ed a couple times as if to say, “Hey guys, this isn’t funny. Why don’t you come back and continue eating with me.” But when no answer followed and not a single goat heeded his cry, he started to scamper a familiar direction, at least one he had been on before. (I know this not because he pulled out his GPS and put in recent destinations, but because I’ve seen his flock pass the same intersection all week.) I trotted a little bit out of the field until hitting the road when he hit a full gallop if goats gallop. He showed urgency. He stood for a moment at the corner baa-ing. “FUNNY! I’m not laughing anymore. GUYS- where are you?” And all the while he remained with the grass in his mouth. Well, the change of location and bleating didn’t gather his friends or shepherd any better the second time. In a flash, I saw his brain process the information, “Oh Goat! I’m lost. No one had any idea where I am. I have no idea where they’re at and this silly grass is not going to reconnect me.” He dropped the grass instantly, looked both ways before crossing the road, mainly to decide on direction rather than check for traffic, and ran away. “HEY YOU GUYS!!!” I suspect they reconnected; I haven’t seen a lone goat wondering around the familiar eating hole.

This scene ran through my head all day. How much it reminded me of my relationship with God. “God, thanks for the goodness you give me- this good food (grass), nice place (the shade) and plenty of friends (other goats). I’m content hanging here. I’ll call if I need anything.” Then to my surprise God moves. Not away, like out of my life or beyond my call, but around the corner. He moves in his direction, the one I am meant to follow. So eventually I notice. I cry out, maybe move (hopefully with some conviction and speed) to where I think he is, but I’m still relying on the sweet things (the grass) God has already given me. “I’m looking for you, God. I don’t know why you’re hiding; it’s not funny. But I’m not too bad off with this blessing of these passions and life position so…” I still cry out all the while leaving one little thing at a time until the need to give up everything, grass and all is necessary, for me to run to his side. “Ok, I’m coming. I know I should obey the first time, but back there was so comfortable. Um, can you be a little bit more clear when and where you’re moving next time?”
Somehow I see this as a direct translation from one goat to another. We sang a great song in youth group entitled the Sheep Song. “I don’t want to be a goat. I just want to be a sheep. From my head down to my feet. I don’t want to be a goat.” I’m thankful God gives us a chance to change our actions and hearts even if we still look like a goat. I pray that I might be more like a sheep, from my head to my feet.

I finally have had enough sleep to stay up past midnight. Oddly enough I was even up early, before 7am to make mandazi. It was a good day, not overly creative or productive though I did help prepare 2 meals. We served spaghetti, meat sauce, peace and garlic bread for our North American meal tonight. Apple pie is hard to do without an oven, but we managed to whip up a great apple crisp. In the end I connected with people and wrestled with God and worked out my faith. I may produce a wool sweater yet.