Wedding= Family

Sat. July 11: 

Most people don’t get married twice to the same person in the same week.  But that’s what happened, or that’s what it looked like to this American’s eyes.  Last Sunday we attended the traditional Ugandan introduction which is when the woman’s family officially hands over their daughter to the man.  With such hoopla and formality, not to mention the outfits, preparations, food, dancing, and gifts, I can’t imagine what would possess someone to do it again.  And then not less than 6 days. Crazy.

But what is crazy to me initially was a beautiful celebration of family and friends giving their son and daughter to God as a bonded couple.  Each moment, each verse, each speech, dress, bow, smile, prayer had a special meaning and made the union much tighter as it was fully interwoven with family. Every auntie, uncle, dad, mom, and friend was there to support the couple, even if it was at a distance.  Jordan’s aunts and godparents from Canada sent emails.  So between the 2 hour long wedding, full with sermon, choir songs, signing of the marriage certificate, pictures, and all, and the reception, again a full blown introduction and offering warm wishes of happiness to the couple, we all felt the love. 

I thought after the celebration on Sunday, I would be done- I can only imagine the desires of the bride and groom, and yet the wedding was a great cap to the week.  And I believe it was the week or 2 weeks of spending time with the family, friends, new family, and all those who invested so much time into their lives as well as the wedding, that allowed me to completely enjoy myself.  In the past weddings I’ve attended or worn a special maid dress, I have experienced a varied amount of closeness with the married couple and also their family and friends.  But even still, come time for the reception or even standing in the pretty little picture that is the wedding party, I felt like a stranger.  Those next to me were aquaintences at best apart for a few close folks.  I dance only to go crazy without ridicule from strangers and to work off the extra piece of cake. 

Here it was different.  So goes the story.

I felt as if I knew these people like brothers and sisters.  Even after meeting some only 20 minutes into the reception we danced together, ate together, shared stories and dreams together in a way that was genuine, authentic and toally life giving.  My family has grown to another continent and I didn’t even have to by a new dress (just an expensive plane ticket).  While I don’t think this is possible for most weddings in the USA, I now know better how to make it an event of familiarity and unified spirit.

Yes, the pastor (and Prossy’s dad) gave a sermon that doubled as an alter call. Yes, I was sweating (what’s new really) and sitting through ceremony. Yet, I learned a great deal about what family is for: to hold each other accountable, to support through hard times and screw ups, to plan a wedding, and to be honored.  Pastor Sebealis preached on the prodigal son, who might have brought shame to his family especially his father.  But in the end, his presence in the family was all that was important.  His presence is the honor.  That is joy of bringing in a son or daughter into the family as two are united in marriage.  I enjoy celebrating, I’ll go to weddings when I can, but flying half-way around the world to learn how to be a better daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, and friend to my family was worth it all.